Sunday, September 28, 2008
the greatest days of a man is the day he is born;and the day he realises why he is born.church on sunday was awesomeee.message and worship was great!
managed to pull dj into church,
and could tell he was like. WHOA. (:
i just pray that he would continue to come to church,
and that his faith would be restored once more.
and and!
GUITAR HEROES 3 was GREAT!
trashed yun hao!
HAHAH!
THANKS JORDAN BUDDY FOR THE HUG!
AND YOU CAN SUCK MY KISS! (:
;
8:01 AM
***
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Like brothers on a hotel bed.
You may tire of me as our December sun is setting,
because I'm not who I used to be.
No longer easy on the eyes,
but these wrinkles masterfully disguise,
The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw,
Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end.
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize,
When he catches his reflection on accident.
On the back of a motor bike,
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight,
Leaving everything behind.
But even at our swiftest speed,
we couldn't break from the concrete,
In the city where we still reside.
And I have learned that even landlocked lovers,
yearn for the sea like navy men.
Cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides,
Like brothers on a hotel bed.
;
8:19 AM
***
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Fear is the heart of love.
If Heaven and Hell decide,
That they both are satisfied.
Illuminate the 'NO's on their vacancy signs.
If there's no one beside you,
When your soul embarks,
Then I'll follow you into the dark.
;
6:45 AM
***
Friday, September 19, 2008
just wither away, real beauty lasts forever.
its ironic to see,
how people ignore the ones that love them.
while peole love the ones that ignore them.
its ironic to see,
how you hurt the ones that love and care for you,
while you adore the ones that hurt you.
its ironic to see,
how both you and I,
vulnerable to this weakness of human nature.
;
11:08 AM
***
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
oh, i pray for the death of the term called strangers.
there you stood,
ignoring his very presence.
all he wanted was a simple conversation.
but you didnt even take a look at him.
its been so long.
but has he not been forgiven?
your smiles and laughter and your voice,
booming with euphoria in your clique of friends,
they were not loud enough to drown,
the regrets and guilt and sorrow,
from screaming deep within his heart.
and yet, he wasnt even allowed a word of goodbye.
for your cold eyes fixed upon the door,
and you walked out,
without turning to take a look back.
he never had experienced a bus ride that burned so much in him.
;
7:45 AM
***
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Regression.
white lights.
cornered by the white walls,
as he layed on the white bed,
his eyes fixed upon the rotating of the fan.
his ears foccused on the voice of the man in white.
tick tock. tick tock. tick tock.
the clock ticked and tocked,
as the voice spoke.
"Close your eyes and begin to relax.
Take a deep breath, and let it out slowly.
Concentrate on your breathing.
With each breath you become more relaxed. "
tick tock. tick tock. tick tock.
"Imagine a brilliant white light above you,
focusing on this light as it flows through your body.
Allow yourself to drift off as you fall deeper, and deeper,
into a more relaxed state of mind."
"Now as I count backward from ten to one,
you will feel more peaceful, and calm.
Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.
You will enter a safe place where nothing can harm you. Five. Four.
Three. Two.
If at any time you need to came back,
all you must do is open your eyes. One."
into the past i went,
a hazy happiness,
and then i saw You,
and the memories.
;
8:54 AM
***
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
"so are you alive now. would you listen to me."
his head burried under his hands,
the voices rang in his mind,
a whirl of thoughts and images,
they wrecked his mind,
as swallowed him whole again.
"wake up. are you alive.
will you listen to me."
"noo! shut up." he thought to himself.
"do the wicked see you --"
no, dont start please. shut up. shut up!
"can't you imagine how good this will make you feel..."
he tore at his hair, eyes tearing.
Stop it. no. Stop.
"let it engulf your soul. anger. jealousy--"
he closed his eyes, attemting to numb the pain.
"I'l make you stronger. Power hungry.
And you will Be--"
please. NO.
"way above the rest.
They never loved--"
Fuck. shut up, shutup shut up!
it was a cry. a plea,
that he was now on his knees.
"--you anyways.
He hates you now.
He ignores your very presence.
so come on, do what your compelled to do..."
to succumb or not to.
his mind felt like as though it was being ripped apart,
its contents: an empty dark.
he was growing feeble and weaker with the passage of Time.
And so he prayed.
Our father, which art is in heaven,
hallowed by thy name--
"I'l open your eyes to victory..."
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
in Earth as it is in Heaven--
"so. are you still breathing now?"
stop it i say, stop it!
And lead us not into temptations--
"come on--"
but deliver us from evil,
for thine is the kingdo--
"succumb to me..."
and the power, and the glory.
forever and ever.
Amen.
minutes passed.
peace.
;
10:04 AM
***
Saturday, September 6, 2008
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world.
Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
the man who can't be moved.
;
12:57 AM
***
Friday, September 5, 2008
memoria.
a walk down memory lane.
the streets seemed dark.
the lights flickering above him,
shadows fleeting beneath him.
as his ugly past darted past my eyes.
the colours faded to a grey.
as people, places and things I loved turned monochrome,
their voices a monotone.
round the corner,
I saw a boy so familiar,
who was filled with anger and jealousy.
I saw they way he treated his friends,
how selfish he was,
just because he felt so insecure.
I wanted to scream.
but nothing could come out.
guilt sets in,
as I became overwhelmed with sorrow.
how much I wanted to punch him...
I looked up.
its just me standing in front of the mirror.
face to face with the jerk I once was.
tears began to stream in his eyelids.
as reality began to set in,
he lost a loved friend to his fucking emotions.
and the voices in my head spoke.
they are saying, ' to be the best.'
but the piece of glass seemed to scream at me,
and his reflection mouthed the words, 'you selfish bastard.'
fuck it. why does it seem so hard to forgive myself.
yea. you write and blog about it.
but how can your words keep them real.
this guilt that you feel,
he doesn't know.
no. he doesn't.
he hates you for taking so much away from him.
your insides crawl.
your losing sleep.
and so what,
take another pill boy,
yea i bet you would.
your eyes tear with every thought of the past.
but so what,
your just shedding crocodile tears boy.
thats what he thinks of you.
whats the use of a renewed life,
if they all still see you as the selfish one in the past.
;
9:24 AM
***