Thursday, October 29, 2009
Landscape of the beginning.
Let it be a perfect heart for all your sweet romances.
Take my pride to cast the stone and justify my right.
Look beyond this...
Have you ever given orders to the morning,
Or shown the dawn its place to shake the earth of its ill.
Do you know the dwelling of the paths of light,
Or how the east wind scatters over our skin?
Can you bind the twinkling of the stars or loose the cords of Orion’s noble charge
Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons
Could you fathom that?
May it be a perfect love for us to give the hopeless.
Take my life, I worry far too much beyond my might.
Look beyond this...
Do you know when the mountain goats are due birth,
Or watch when the doe bears her fawn.
Do you know who let the wild donkeys go free
Or why the ostrich flaps her wings?
Do you give the horses their strength and mane or why they shun no sword or trumpets reign Do you command the eagle to soar or slay his prey
Could you fathom that?
Is this pain going to take control of me
You have to be with me God in your power could you make some sense of this
I'm fighting for you only.
God if I crumble could you take me back to forever
So I could love you beyond this
So I could love you beyond this...
;
8:04 PM
***
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
i hope its gonna make you notice.
just our hands clasped so tight,
your smooth palm fit oh so perfectly into mine,
we layed there in the midst of silence,
in which i saw one's mild sobriety.
Your hair that grazed my face,
my defence oh so paper thin,
such sweet scent that tugged at my heart,
why do i feel so vulnerable?
My utmost admiration of a love so austere,
a mirage of a perfect love,
as i await in anticipation.
But up to then,
your just a slender picture in my mind,
that slender that flickers every now and then.
;
7:18 AM
***
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Expectations, expectaions. Fuck You.
promoting suddenly isnt just about yourself,
its those around you:
the people whom you spent almost your entire childhood growing up with.
i want my friends back.
and all of the sudden,
i'm just caught between a web of emotions,
one of relief, ecstasy, and that of anguish.
stay strong guys.
i believe God has plans for all of you.
ah.
;
9:38 PM
***
Thursday, October 15, 2009
At the end of the day.
From the beginning of the year up till now, my life in jc has taught me many things and experiences alike. My eyes were open to the bitches and bastards, the hypocrites and bootlickers, and who your actual true friends were. I dare say life in SAJC has been tough, pretty much a stuggle for me to keep up with the hectic schedules, considering there's rugby and my serving in church. I finally understood the meaning of being humble over these period of times, when complacency could actually cost your team the semi finals of the rugby game. I dare say God rebuked and reminded me a couple of times to be humble throughout this year, to be thankful of what i'm blessed with and learn how to appreciate tose blessings.
Yet, Theres clearly a fine line between what can you can do, and how much can you actually do. So much so that i've found myself studying pretty hard consistently throughout the year, but always came close to passing all my exam papers. Come Friday, i might be presented with a tough dilemna when i get those results back.
To be honest, i was really touched when Jannah came and hugged me and told me that she would cry if i really had to retain. But a man is a prideful one, i must not shed any tears on that day. No, i musnt.
I've been thinking. And i feel that i really owe nichoas an apology. That i kinda dragged him into the shit in JC, hen he could have make the best out of his abilities in poly. Now he's facing retaining as well. Fuck you JT.
But whether or not i have to face making the decision, i just pray that all that happens, is in God's will for me.
Ah, theres so much thats tearing me inside out now.
But no, i will not cry.
i musn't.
;
8:31 AM
***
Friday, October 2, 2009
just let me be.
i want nothing of the lies, burdens and troubles.
i cant seem to maintain a stronghold with God.
i dont want to be weary and tired anymore.
i just want to be free.
;
10:56 AM
***