Friday, September 5, 2008
memoria.
a walk down memory lane.
the streets seemed dark.
the lights flickering above him,
shadows fleeting beneath him.
as his ugly past darted past my eyes.
the colours faded to a grey.
as people, places and things I loved turned monochrome,
their voices a monotone.
round the corner,
I saw a boy so familiar,
who was filled with anger and jealousy.
I saw they way he treated his friends,
how selfish he was,
just because he felt so insecure.
I wanted to scream.
but nothing could come out.
guilt sets in,
as I became overwhelmed with sorrow.
how much I wanted to punch him...
I looked up.
its just me standing in front of the mirror.
face to face with the jerk I once was.
tears began to stream in his eyelids.
as reality began to set in,
he lost a loved friend to his fucking emotions.
and the voices in my head spoke.
they are saying, ' to be the best.'
but the piece of glass seemed to scream at me,
and his reflection mouthed the words, 'you selfish bastard.'
fuck it. why does it seem so hard to forgive myself.
yea. you write and blog about it.
but how can your words keep them real.
this guilt that you feel,
he doesn't know.
no. he doesn't.
he hates you for taking so much away from him.
your insides crawl.
your losing sleep.
and so what,
take another pill boy,
yea i bet you would.
your eyes tear with every thought of the past.
but so what,
your just shedding crocodile tears boy.
thats what he thinks of you.
whats the use of a renewed life,
if they all still see you as the selfish one in the past.
;
9:24 AM
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